For years technology companies have spent a lot of money telling us smart phones, computers and so on are the answer to our communication problems. In more recent times, social media gateways such as Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc have drawn us into believing they can fulfil our communication needs. Today, people communicate far more by messaging apps than by actually speaking.
There has been a gradual redefinition of the word “communication” and many people believe if they get better technology, they will get better communication. We also seem to spend a lot of time communicating with others through social media and messaging yet more and more people report a sense of loneliness.
I do not want to denigrate the value of technology in providing accessibility and easier means of conversing with each other, but there is a vast difference between the medium and feeling more deeply connected to others.
You could think of the difference this way. Our use of social media is like being at a party. You flit in and out of conversations but rarely speak with any or depth. A good time is had but you don’t really get to engage with anyone beyond the surface conversations. Social media can also be seen as people seeking to gain attention. People speak to the world in the hope that someone will pay attention to them with likes and clicks. Once again, we are not listening with any depth as we flick through the images, videos and posts.
Alternatively, think of the difference in conversations when you are out with one or a few people sharing a meal. These conversations foster a much richer communication experience. One where we can really feel that others are listening to us.
There is a real paradox here. We seem to communicate more but feel less deeply connected. Certainly this is not the case for everyone but then rise is the reports of loneliness cannot be ignored.
Part of the issue here lies in interpretation of communication. It is a commonly held view that communication relates to the passing of information – technology is fine for that. Although there is validity in this statement, it is also insufficient. We communicate with others within a social context to take care of our concerns and to build and maintain relationships with others. We also communicate to coordinate actions and build social realities. Communication is successful when we assess that others take the time to listen and understand what we say and then they act in a way that addresses our spoken concerns.
Related Concepts
Communication, Speaking and Listening
The Phenomenon of Listening
Effective Listening and Speaking
Relationships and Conversations